He spent 17 years in a doomed marriage while battling his urges all day, he said, and dreaming about them all night.īut in recent years, as he probed his childhood in counseling and at men’s weekend retreats with names like People Can Change and Journey Into Manhood, “my homosexual feelings have nearly vanished,” Mr. Smith, 58, who says he believes homosexual behavior is wrong on religious grounds, tried to tough it out. LOS ANGELES - For most of his life, Blake Smith said, “every inch of my body craved male sexual contact.”